There could be many reasons why a man is bringing other men into your conversations.
Depending on your relationship with this person, he may just be a friend asking you about other guys. Also, depending on his sexuality, he could be asking you about men that he’s interested in dating.
However, the most common reason for this question stems from men asking their partners about other men that the partner associates with.
Why does he bring up other guys so often?
If a boyfriend is constantly asking their girlfriend or partner about their friends who are male, about new men they’ve met, or even just attractive celebrity men, he may be showing signs of jealousy. They also may not like their partner’s friends or be uncomfortable around them.
This isn’t always the case, and it should be noted that every person is different and may have different motives.
If your partner or significant other is asking you about other men often, consider talking to them about it to see what’s going on.
What Does it Mean When Guys Ask You About Other Guys?
There are different reasons why your male friend, partner, or an acquaintance may be asking you about other men.
While most people assume the answer is always jealousy, that’s not entirely the case.
Using context clues is the best way to try to figure out why he’s asking you about other guys – the other great way is to ask him what’s wrong or what he means by it.
Especially when the man in question is your friend and not your partner or spouse, if they are a friend, they may just be asking harmless questions. If they are your spouse, it could mean something more.
We’ve listed a few reasons in this article why he might be asking you about other men:
To See If You’re Single
When you first meet someone who you might be attracted to – and who might be attracted to you, too – conversations will tend to slowly turn into flirtatious interrogations.
This means that if you like a guy, you may try to find out if he has a girlfriend. This is the same for men. Often, they will ask you about men in your life – assuming you are interested in men – and will inquire about your male friends, colleagues, or classmates to see if you are single.
While these are usually harmless questions, if you make it clear that you are single, he most likely will drop the conversation about other men and move on to talking about you. This could involve inquiring about your interests to see if you two would be compatible.
This is a normal and more appropriate way of discussing other men in your life with someone that may think you are attractive.
It is also usually not in regards to negative emotions such as jealousy.
He Might Be Interested In Other Guys
On the flip-side of this article, it shouldn’t go unnoticed that some men are interested in other men.
This is an obvious statement, but more often than not, women accidentally mistake their male friends for liking her and being jealous about her other male friends, when in reality he may be interested in men instead.
This is a normal thing to have to happen to you. You may not know that your friend is interested in men, or maybe you do, but if he’s asking about other men in-depth about their interests, personalities, jobs, etc. he may be asking you in regards to his attraction.
If your male friend does reveal that he is interested in men, be supportive!
Sometimes relationships aren’t all about us, and we need to be there for our friends when they need us.
He May Not Like Your Friends
If you are already in a romantic relationship with a man who is asking about other men all the time, you may run into some territory of jealousy or just plain dislike.
Often, when we get into romantic relationships, we adopt our partner’s friends into our lives, even if we don’t like them.
If you’ve ever had a boyfriend who has annoying or obnoxious friends, you’ll understand what I mean.
This may be what’s going on with your spouse or partner: he may just not like one or more of your male friends.
That’s okay! You don’t always have to like people, even if they are your partner’s friends, but you do have to be able to be civil to them. This means that maybe you sit down with your spouse and have a reasonable chat about your dislikes and express to them that you’d rather not be around when that friend comes over to hangout.
If that’s the case, be open to your partner’s dislike of your friends, and don’t blame them for not getting along.
However, if your spouse or partner is overly aggressive or rude about your friend, it may go further than just dislike.
Jealousy
Both men and women have the potential to become jealous – in both romantic relationships and regular friendships.
This means that sometimes your partner will ask you about other men or women when they are feeling insecure. Your partner may ask you about your new friends, try to make sure you are still attracted to them or even talk down about your male or female friends.
All of these are signs of jealousy and a show of insecurities that your partner may be having.
Often, if you find out your partner doesn’t like one or more of your male friends, he may be expressing a sense of jealousy or feel aggressive toward those men. This is a bad sign and should be discussed between you and your partner.
If jealousy is allowed to sit and fester, your partner may not be able to get over their jealousy, and then result in losing trust with you and the relationship.
Distrust can lead to even more difficult experiences between you and your partner, so it is important to speak to them and get to the source of their jealousy.
Jealousy Isn’t Your Fault
I thought it would be important to add this section to remind partners in relationships that the other person’s jealousy is not your fault.
If you have friends who are of the gender you are attracted to, and your partner gets jealous, this is something that they need to work on, not you.
You should both sit down and discuss it together, of course, but in the end, their jealous feelings aren’t your responsibility to fix or to feel guilty about. If your partner is trying to make you feel like you started the problem for having those friends – when you’ve done nothing wrong – then they are trying to manipulate you.
Make sure to understand where your partner is coming from, but also remind them that you aren’t going to give up your friends just because they are feeling jealous.
Why Does He Joke About Me Dating Other Guys?
If a new acquaintance or male friend jokes about you dating other guys, he may be fishing for one of those reasons that we’ve listed above: to see if you’re single or because he’s jealous.
Often, a man could be making jokes to hide his own insecurities or attempt to learn something about you and your relationship with another guy.
For example, if you’ve been friends for a long time and you suddenly start getting interested in another man, he may joke that you two are dating to see if you actually are. Furthermore, he may make jokes at the other man’s expense if he doesn’t like him or is jealous that you are now dating the man.
There are also harmless jokes that are good-natured and friendly, so it is important to use context clues and knowledge about your friend and how he operates to realize whether or not he’s jealous or just being funny.
You don’t want to assume anything, and in the end, talking to him about how he’s making too many jokes is a great way to get to the bottom of his feelings.
What Are the Signs That a Guy Is Jealous and Likes You?
Jealousy can be a very difficult emotion to deal with, whether your partner is experiencing it or you are yourself. The problem with jealousy is that it can be a very powerful emotion that can lead to problems in a friendship, relationship, or even marriage.
Often, jealousy can be a mix of love and aggression – mostly manifesting when you love your friend or partner too much and become angry when they have friends or other people in their lives.
This means that when jealousy occurs, it is almost always a negative emotion that can lead to difficult experiences or even fights.
Here are a few examples of how jealousy can manifest:
He’s Asking Too Many Questions
Invading your privacy and asking too many questions about your new male or female friends that he feels competitive toward can be a huge sign of jealousy.
He may ask questions about your friend or partner and then immediately say something negative about them. For example, if he asks where they work, who they hang out with or what their interests are, and then immediately put them down, he might be jealous.
If you feel that he’s asking too many questions and invading your privacy, speak up and let him know you are uncomfortable.
He’s Listening to Conversations
In another article that we wrote here at Mangoful, we discussed how listening to your conversations can be a bad sign of jealousy and insecurity.
Eavesdropping is a step too far when it comes to having feelings for a person, and you should never disrespect your friend or partner’s privacy that way.
If your male friend is listening to your conversations, checking your phone or text messages, or is even asking you about what you say to your partner all the time, he is definitely jealous – but this may be a very bad thing.
Being possessive of another person usually comes with monitoring their conversations and can border on abusive behavior.
If this is happening to you, make it clear that you are uncomfortable, and then safely remove yourself from the situation if you can.
He Doesn’t Like Your New Friends or Boyfriend
If your male friend doesn’t like your other male friends, boyfriends, or even spouse, it may just be a sign that they don’t get along.
However, there is also the real possibility that your male friend is jealous and may have feelings for you. Disliking your new boyfriend or partner, though, can lead to aggressive or difficult situations.
If you suspect your friend is jealous because of his dislike of your other male friends, consider making it clear that you aren’t happy with his reactions and work toward finding a better situation.
It may turn out that there isn’t a better situation and that you may have to part as friends if he continues to angry and aggressive about it.
He Want’s to Hoard Your Time
One final sign of jealousy – as well as manipulation – is hoarding all your free time.
Any jealous friend or partner will want to keep you all to themselves. This is a negative reaction that they are experiencing because of their negative feelings and insecurities.
Furthermore, hoarding your time will let your male friend know where you are at all times, making them feel better that you are with them and not your partner or other male friends.
This can be a borderline abusive behavior. If you feel that your male friend doesn’t like it when you hang out with other males or even with girlfriends, consider getting outside assistance or distancing yourself from the relationship for a while.
How Can I Help Him Become Less Jealous?
After all of this, if you have come to the conclusion that your male friend or partner is jealous, consider finding a solution.
Remind Him You’re With Someone Else
One way to discuss their jealousy with them is to make it clear that you aren’t interested in them romantically, and that you just want to be friends.
If they are a good friend and a good guy, they will back off and remind themselves that you are happier with your chosen partner. Hopefully, a regular friendship can continue to blossom, and the two of you can move on from there.
However, if he makes it clear he can’t be friends with you because of his jealousy, the friendship may not work, and it may have to be avoided or taken a break from for a while.
Discuss Trust and Your Relationship
Another way to make him realize his jealousy and to make a change is simply to discuss trust and how your relationship currently stands.
This works for romantic relationships because you can remind him that you are with him, that you love him, and that you are allowed to have other male friends.
He then needs to be responsible and work hard to put his jealousy aside and to reestablish his trust in you.
If the relationship still isn’t’ working, and he can’t let go of his jealousy, you may want to distance yourself from the situation – especially if it becomes abusive or aggressive.
Ask For Time Apart
Sometimes distance can help someone better realize what they were doing and how it was affecting you or someone else.
If you take some time apart to reflect on everything, both of you may discover something about your individual selves that can help the relationship once you return to it.
You both might even find that your friendship or romantic relationship has run its course and that disbanding your connection is what is best for both of you.
Finally, make sure that you are safe and are getting a positive experience from most of these encounters. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, consider getting outside help from family or friends and separate yourself from danger as soon as possible.