Have you ever been called annoying by someone and wondered why?
It can be a hurtful and confusing label to receive, especially if you don’t understand the reason behind it.
There can be many different reasons why people might perceive you as annoying, and it’s important to consider these reasons to better understand how you are coming across to others and how you might be able to change their perception of you.
In this article, we will explore some common causes of why people might call someone annoying and discuss strategies for addressing and potentially changing this behavior:
Table of Contents
1. You Talk a Little Too Much
When someone rambles on and on, it usually means one thing, the person is excited.
When we get amped up about something, it can be natural to hyper-focus on that one thing and give our friends an earful. However, not everyone likes to have conversations at lightspeed.
Talking someone’s ear off can be annoying to some people and may be why you are getting this kind of feedback from the people in your life.
It is important to remember that not everyone is meant to communicate similarly. We generally learn how to communicate with the people around us as we grow up.
So, if you live in a very boisterous family who loves to chat for hours, you can become a very chatty adult.
So, what can you do about it?
The first thing to remember is that you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone to like you. However, in meaningful friendships, there has to be some give and take.
Listen to what the people around you say about how you talk.
If it is a big issue to people you care about, perhaps be a little more aware of how much you are talking. This is especially true when it comes to monopolizing the conversation.
Another thing to remember is that fast-talking is often a sign of anxiety.
So, perhaps finding other ways to ease your anxiety, especially in social situations, can help you learn how to communicate more healthily.
2. Negative Thinking
People that are always negative or cynical can often come across as annoying.
No one wants to be around someone who constantly complains and whines. So, how do you know if your negative thinking is becoming annoying to the people around you?
The first thing to remember is that being overly cynical is a defense mechanism. It is a way to point out the possibilities of something bad happening so that you can be prepared.
Not everyone has that sense of doom and can find this cynical consent thinking as a black spot in their personality.
Keeping a journal is a great way to express your anxieties and concerns without adding pressure or stress to your relationships. This is a safe space for all of your negative thinking to live so that you can focus on the positive things in a social setting.
However, it is important to note that trying to be more positive doesn’t mean you are not allowed to be sad or feel negative. Your friends should want to be there through your difficult times.
But, it is important to prioritize when you truly need support or are just looking to trauma dump.
3. Needing To Have The Last Word
Friendships are not meant to be competitive.
Sometimes being a human can get the best of us. This is especially true if you are deep into a conversation that you are passionate about.
It is important to remember that not everyone enjoys a hot topic discussion.
It can be seen as very annoying when you constantly try to have the last word during a heated or mild discussion.
This is because it makes you look like you know it all, making the other person feel like you are dismissing their voice. It is also important to note that not everyone needs to think the way you think.
Having different views and opinions is what makes us human. So, if people around feel like you are constantly trying to push your opinions onto them without hearing their side, it can be annoying.
If people don’t want to engage with you because of your intense conversation, try changing your communication.
A great place to start is to try to really listen to what the other person is saying and try to see things from their point of view.
Avoid being so “matter of fact” with your opinions and allow yourself to see a different side. This will give the other person a chance to speak and allow the two of you to connect better.
4. Your Are a Controlling Friend
There are many ways to be a dominating friend, and not all have anything to do with how you communicate.
Something that can be seen as annoying to the people around you is if it feels like you always need to control the situation. Whether you need to always pick the movie or where to go for dinner, the constant need to be in control can rub people the wrong way.
An important thing to note is that people who suffer from anxiety often feel like they need to control the things around them to feel calm and safe.
Changing how people feel about you doesn’t mean you have to ignore your anxieties. It just means you need to be more open about what you need.
Remember, it is all about your delivery. Be upfront with your circle of friends and let them know what helps to make you feel comfortable.
They will already understand your anxiety triggers if they are true friends. So, instead of trying to control things, try to trust that your friends have your back and won’t put you in a situation that you are uncomfortable with.
5. It’s All In Your Head
If you suffer from any form of social anxiety, it is important to remember that many situations you think are happening can be in your head.
The main struggle with social anxiety is seeing or feeling things that are not a true reflection of what is happening.
However, checking in on how your friends feel about you can become an annoyance.
When we are anxious about what our friends are thinking, we can tend to project that onto our friends. Constantly asking, “are you mad at me?” or “do you like me? is seen as annoying.
While it may be just how you need to reassure yourself, you shouldn’t project this anxiety onto your friendships.
Instead, be more aware of what is happening around you. Try not to take everything personally and realize that many things you are anxious about are just in your head.
While initially, your friends may not have viewed you as annoying, continuing “primping” behaviors like constantly having to check to see if your friends like you will eventually make them start to be annoyed by you.