Sometimes it feels like we get left out of the dating pool when no one approaches us to chat us up and get our number.
Not only can this be a blow to our self-esteem, but it also can be puzzling.
Why don’t men approach some of us? There are so many reasons why men might or might not approach you, but that doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong.
Sometimes men just aren’t interested or aren’t looking for someone to date. Others feel that it is not the time nor the place to approach you.
Whatever the reason, don’t be discouraged! Maybe he just wasn’t the right man for you.
Why Men Don’t Always Approach You:
If you aren’t being approached, it may just not be the right time, place, or man. Men who aren’t looking for a date won’t approach you. Men who are in professional settings should not engage in inappropriate behavior by flirting or making their coworkers uncomfortable.
Do Men only Approach Girls They Think are Cute?
Depending on the social situation that you find yourself in, a man’s intentions when approaching you may differ.
If you are an adult who is out dancing or at a bar, men who approach you may think you are attractive and want to get to know you. If you are at work, he may want to ask you a professional question or get your assistance with a customer.
If you are still in school and at a school function or study group, he may approach you to be friendly or to ask for help.
Not everything will come down to attraction. However, if you are definitely in a flirtatious setting, such as at a bar, club, or party, the man approaching you may think you are cute and talk to you.
What if He Doesn’t Think I’m Cute?
If a man isn’t attracted to you, that doesn’t mean he won’t still approach you.
Some men are just friendly and fun. Others will approach women because they like her personality, rather than focus only on her looks.
Some men will try to approach you to help their mutual friend ask you out – such as being a “wingman” for their other guy friends. This could mean that you are approached by the friend of a man who finds you attractive.
There are men out there who are more superficial who only approach women that they think are attractive or who they think they can seduce.
Those men miss out on a lot of great relationships and friendships by only pursuing women that they think are hot, and they usually don’t have very close friends who are women.
Do Some Men Prefer When Girls Make Contact?
Men can be just as shy when it comes to dating as women. Even the most confident of men will appreciate being the one approached once in a while.
Sometimes men like an ego boost when women approach them first. Other times, they are too nervous to make the first move.
Whatever the case may be, if you want to get a man’s attention, approaching him is not the worst way to go about it. Always be safe when approaching strangers out at bars or in public places, but be confident in how you want to get their attention.
Some men love when women make the first move or ask them out. This makes them feel attractive and wanted.
Other men are uncomfortable when women are the ones who approach first. It can make them feel vulnerable, scared, or even embarrassed. Depending on the guy you are looking for, he may either enjoy your attention or prefer you didn’t approach at all.
The only way to know is to try, and respect his wishes if he isn’t receptive to you. If he isn’t interested, leave him be.
5 Great Ways to Get a Man’s Attention:
While it’s not always possible to get a man’s attention, there are some things that you can do which will help you try.
From being yourself to taking care of your hygiene, there are easy things you can do to up your approachability to not only men, but any person out there you want to meet:
Be Yourself:
Nothing is more attractive than being yourself. Not only do you put your best foot forward, but you are honest from day one.
Being confident in who you are and what you like is how you end up happy in a relationship. People should never rely on other people to make them happy – rather, relationships are an amazing, exciting bonus to an already happy life.
Not to mention, being yourself exudes real confidence. There is no faking or pretense. Guys find confidence in oneself a huge turn-on, and it will encourage them to approach you and possibly start a romantic relationship with you.
If you aren’t ready to be 100% yourself, be honest, and ask for what you want, other people can tell. They can see pretty quickly whether or not they will have to supplement your happiness by being your “everything,” and that isn’t fair to them.
Most men won’t want to be your “everything,” and they shouldn’t be. You are everything. You are the only person with complete control over your life.
Having a partner to help support you and make things easier, fun, and exciting is just an added bonus.
Stay Kind:
One of the biggest attractions that people forget is kindness.
There are so many men who think that being tough and aggressive is the key to showing off their “manliness” to women, but they are seriously misguided. The same thing goes for women, too.
You might think that being aloof and confident means being unkind or brusque with strangers. That shouldn’t be the case! You can be confident and interesting while still being polite, kind, and compassionate to others.
Everyone wants a partner with kindness and compassion as one of the forefronts of their personality. We want someone who will be nice to us, who we can trust and be vulnerable with. Nice partners make that easy and make us feel safe.
The nicer you are to anyone, the further you will get in life. People respond positively to kind and caring people.
Just make sure that you don’t let people walk all over you or take advantage of that kindness!
Try Everything Once (Within Reason):
If you’ve ever spent an entire week going to work and then avoiding invitations out to watch Netflix in bed, we’ve all been there.
However, staying in and never trying something new is a recipe for never making new friends or acquaintances. There are so many people out there who only date in their friend pool because they are too nervous or shy to go out and meet strangers.
Trust me, the friend pool dries up real quick.
That’s why you should try everything at least once – within reason. If you get invited to parties, functions, events, or even just out for a cup of coffee, you would be surprised how quickly you meet new people and gain confidence in yourself.
Men love partners who are willing to try things. Whether that be a new video game, an outdoor adventure, a recipe, or even taking a class together, being open to trying things not only makes you more fun and interesting, but more attractive as a life partner, too.
By being open and willing to try new things, you make yourself way more approachable than if you always say “no” when someone asks you to do something.
Note: make sure that you are trying things that are within reason. Never do something you are genuinely terrified to do or that makes you uncomfortable. You always come first!
Maintain Your Health & Hygiene:
It is so important to maintain your health and hygiene at all times.
You would be shocked how many people avoid things like yearly dentist appointments or checkups at their doctor. Those people also will consider eating healthy as “dieting” rather than as a basic, necessary life function that must be adhered to in order to live a long and full life.
If you are a person who likes to skip their vegetables, doctor’s appointments, or even just brushing your teeth, you are probably less approachable than someone who is taking good care of their body and their health.
Now, it is important to remember that some people are better than others when carrying out these necessary functions. Some people do struggle with maintaining a good health and hygiene schedule which requires them to have extra support in their lives. That is entirely fine.
Just remember, your health and hygiene are crucially important to your overall life as well as your approachability. You don’t have to wear makeup to look clean and bright out at the bar.
Sometimes a really nice shower and flossing your teeth is all it takes.
Share Your Interests:
Nothing is worse than trying to chat up someone who doesn’t know what to say.
Everyone gets a little shy or tongue-tied, but there are so many easy things to talk about when being approached by any person. Quite often, talking about yourself and trying to relate that to the other person is a great way to engage in easy, safe conversations.
If you are at a party you might be the person hiding in the corner with two close friends. You might also be the person in the center of the room meeting strangers and sharing your interests with them.
It is always better to be the person who is open and willing to chat than to be too afraid to say anything.
When setting yourself up as a conversationalist, make sure you aren’t butting into conversations where you don’t belong. Try talking to people standing alone, or even just listen for opportunities to politely jump in.
Whether you talk about yourself or try to get other people to talk about themselves, being chatty is a great way to show everyone you are willing to talk and want to meet new people.
How Come Guys Stare but Never Approach Me?
There are a few reasons that a man might be staring at you but not approaching you:
He’s Too Shy:
The first reason might be that he is too shy to talk to you.
If that is the case, he may admire you from afar but not want to take it any further.
If he is feeling awkward or nervous, he will probably not make a move. You might approach him if you are interested, but if not, you could always avoid him.
He is Watching You:
This sounds ominous, but basically, he could be interested in you and likes looking at you, but is not willing to approach for whatever reason.
This can make some women uncomfortable, especially if they don’t feel the same.
In fact, men who stare and follow you with their eyes can sometimes be dangerous or even just strange. This could also be a symptom of the man being shy or awkward, in which case he is most likely not dangerous, but his staring is still offputting.
Sometimes, men don’t understand the boundaries that women try to set, thinking that if they stare at you long enough, you will see them and want to talk to them. Instead, women get creeped out by this and avoid them altogether.
Other Reasons:
Sometimes men think they recognize you or are friends with someone you know. They might be staring to try and figure out if they know you.
They may also be looking at something you are wearing or a tattoo you might have. In this case, they are just admiring something about you – that doesn’t automatically mean that they think you are cute and want to date you.
If you have colorful hair – such as green, pink, etc. – or if you are wearing something that is eye-catching, men might just be looking at you because you are unique and different from the people around you.
Not every moment of eye contact with someone else leads to romantic interactions. Sometimes men just think you look cool.
How Can I Find a Guy Who Likes Me the Way I Am?
There are so many men out there who will love you for who you are.
You don’t have to wear eye-catching outfits or put on a ton of makeup for someone to fall in love with you. The best partners start out as friends or fun people you enjoy spending time with platonically.
If you are open, honest, and truly yourself with everyone you meet, it is possible that you will find someone who is so wholly interested in how amazing you are and will fall for you.
Men are not as shallow as we always believe them to be. More than anything, they would rather love someone that they can trust and rely on rather than just someone that they think is cute.