All people are different from one another in the way that they fall in love. Men can fall in love quickly or slowly. Women are the same.
Gender does not indicate the speed at which you fall in love. Instead, each individual person will have different reactions toward attraction and falling for someone else.
Here’s How Soon Guys Vs. Girls Fall in Love:
On average, men are considered to fall in love faster; about 3 to 4 months. Women are said to take up to four months or more to fall in love with someone. Some men and women fall in love at first sight or take only a few weeks to decide they love someone.
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Do People Fall in Love Instantly?
It is possible to form an attachment or infatuation with someone immediately upon meeting them.
If you find them attractive or their personality very interesting (or both) you are more likely to want to see them again very soon.
Men and women both experience this phenomenon, and while it is impossible to say whether or not this is “love,” attachments can be formed almost immediately.
Many researchers and couples who have experienced this phenomenon change their opinion between the attachment being considered “love” at first sight, or “lust” at first sight. Lust means that they thought the other person was very attractive and wanted to form a romantic relationship with them that included intimacy and physical connection.
Love, in contrast, is considered a much deeper emotion that leads people to more serious relationships, such as living together, marriage, being partners in life, and relying on one another during tough times. Most particularly, commitment and fidelity are the signs of “true love,” according to researchers.
67% of Bumble users in 2021 even suggested that it is possible to fall in love with someone online, regardless of having met them in person before. It is all subjective. Whether you consider this “true love” or just “infatuation,” is up to you.
While it is possible to lust after someone or want to spend time with them at first sight, the ability to form a lasting, committed, and loyal attachment to another person (aka “love”) is less likely to happen instantaneously.
Do Guys Fall in Love Instantly?
Men are capable of forming a romantic attachment to a woman quickly – almost instantly. This romantic attachment is, as we mentioned before, more focused on lust and physical attraction than it is “love.”
However, men are able to fall in love with a woman or another man within weeks of meeting them, imagining futures with them, and preparing to be loyal to them right away. This can be considered either romantic or troublesome for the object of their affections depending on their level of interest in the man.
For example, if a woman has dated a man for less than a month, and he is already convinced he would want to marry her someday, it may be uncomfortable for her to hear. However, some women may find this deeply romantic and exciting, pursuing a future with this man regardless of how much time has passed.
Men are, therefore, capable of making quick and long-lasting attachments just as easily as women do.
How Realistic is it for Guys to Develop Feelings Over Time?
Men can absolutely develop incredibly strong feelings over time as they dive deeper into a romantic relationship with their partner.
Men can be protective, loyal, trusting, vulnerable, and compassionate with their chosen person, dedicating themselves and their life to making that person happy.
Men can be wary of a relationship and take it very slowly with their true feelings, or they can dive right in, headfirst, and lay everything out on the table all at once. There is no “rule” about how a man will approach a relationship.
Just like women, men are very interested in finding someone that they can rely on and treat as an equal partner in their life. Someone to share both financial and emotional burdens with. They want someone to work hard with them to build their futures and chase their dreams, helping their partner chase their dreams in return.
They will all react and feel differently depending on who they are and who they are with.
Is it Better to Start as Friends First?
You will always hear the phrase, “it is better to be friends first” when looking for a new partner in a relationship.
However, there is a huge difference between “friends” and “people who meet with a mutual attraction but don’t act on it right away.”
For example, your friend is someone who you have known for a long time and can rely on platonically. Your friend is helpful and fun but doesn’t share your financial or deep emotional burdens (depending on your level of connection).
This person is less likely to become your romantic partner, as you’ve already established a strong, platonic relationship with them.
Romance can, as they say, ruin a good friendship if you aren’t careful.
Attraction to Friends:
There are people you meet where the two of you have a mutual romantic attraction to each other right away.
Often, people will become friends with strangers they are attracted to because they don’t want to spoil a deeper connection by being physical right away. Instead, is generally common for them both to realize there is an attraction there, but they try to be friends and hang out platonically first.
Most likely these friendships will steer quickly toward romantic after a few months of platonic meetings.
Pursuing romance in this way is often safer than jumping into something physical right away with a stranger you don’t really know on an emotional level. It allows you to better understand them and their personalities without muddying the waters with physical intimacy.
It also protects you from potential heartbreak later, as you’re more aware of what you’re getting into before you jump into something romantic.
What Can I Do to Make Him Get Feelings for Me?
You can’t make someone develop feelings for you that aren’t there.
Contrary to what rom-com’s would have us believe, men are not easily tricked into liking someone. If the guy you like doesn’t have feelings for you by now, likely he never will.
However, there are ways to find out if it is possible that you and he can form a deeper, possibly romantic, connection:
Digging Deeper into His Feelings:
Finding out what you and he have in common is a great way to start. Sharing passions and interests is something that friends do, but is equally important in a romantic relationship as well.
If you truly share his interests and join him in activities that the both of you like, it is possible you could develop deeper feelings for each other.
Likewise, being there for him emotionally, helping him with problems or challenges, or even just supporting his endeavors, is a great way to show him that you care. More often than not, if he has feelings for you, showing him that you care about him will help him be more open about it.
You can’t make someone fall in love with you, but you can explore deeper attachments and romantic feelings with a guy you’re close to if they are open and consenting to it.
How Do I Really Know if a Guy has Feelings for Me?
The really good guys out there will tell you.
Honest, open, and confident men who aren’t afraid to show their feelings are the best ones. They will tell you in a direct and possibly romantic manner that they have feelings for you and want to pursue a relationship with you.
They will most likely do this because they want to:
- Establish that they want to be more than friends
- Find out how you feel about them
- Get it off their chest and feel relieved about sharing their feelings
- Pursue a potential physical, intimate relationship with you
- Make it clear that they are hoping for something more and want the relationship to evolve
If you find a man who speaks to you openly about his feelings, it will be hard to mistake him.
What if He Doesn’t Tell Me?
Shy men are just as common – if not more – than confident ones.
If he doesn’t have the courage or opportunity to tell you the truth about how he feels, it is important to try and show him how you feel, or even tell him directly that you love him. Not only will he then feel confident in telling you he loves you back, but you will also prevent misunderstandings.
If you aren’t ready to tell him either, then watch for his body language and the things he says to you. His affection for you might come in the form of helping you with your needs, taking you places, giving gifts, or acts of service.
He may also lightly touch you or be physically familiar with you, such as holding your hand, playing with your hair, or hugging you often. These could be signs that he has feelings for you. Just make sure that you are comfortable and consent to that physical affection!
Furthermore, he may refer to you with pet names, such as:
- Babe
- Dear
- Honey
- Love
- Sweetheart
- Gorgeous, beautiful, etc.
If he uses pet names with you in an endearing way (and not just jokingly) he may have feelings for you.
In the end, the best way to find out is to ask him and be direct with him. It is so much easier to start a relationship if everyone is upfront and honest about their feelings.
What Do I Do if He Never Gets Feelings for Me?
Sometimes we never earn the affections and love from the person we are most interested in. It is a harsh reality, but not all people are meant for each other – even if you love them a lot.
If the guy of your dreams isn’t in love with you, the only thing to really do is to move on. You can’t wait around and put your life on pause in the hopes that he will fall for you someday.
You’ll always miss out on potential soulmates or amazing partners if you wait around for someone who doesn’t love you back. Go out there and find real love with someone who wants you, too.
Forcing someone to love you is never the answer, and putting yourself through heartache will only hurt you.
Sources:
How Long Does it Take to Fall in Love?
Is Love At First Sight Real? Why It Happens & 9 Signs You’re Experiencing It