Men can appear to be self-sufficient.
The truth is, they desire company and friendship as much as women do. The problem is they may struggle to feel comfortable around some women.
Here are 13 helpful ideas for making your special male friend feel comfortable when he’s with you!
Laugh at His Jokes and Make Him Laugh Too
When a man loves you, it means the world to him to hear you laugh, and he will go the full length to keep hearing it.
That may mean telling you jokes and possibly some good-natured teasing too. If you want him to feel comfortable, look out for those moments when he’s teasing, and laugh along.
Just make sure that you do like his jokes and teasing. Don’t laugh if you don’t think he is funny!
You will make his time with you exciting, positive and fun. Laughter will help break the ice, and he will feel relaxed around you.
Be warned, though – don’t make jokes at his expense. People don’t like to be made fun of.
Let Him Talk Without Correcting Him
Depending on where he is from and how he was (or wasn’t) schooled, he may not always say things properly.
Please don’t make an issue about it. Be thankful he is comfortable enough to be opening up to you.
Trying to correct every broken word of the English language he says will only disrupt his flow of expression. That will be a red flag for him, and he will register you in his mind as a rigid corrector and not a friend.
He won’t be likely to open up freely to you again.
This goes for most things. If he accidentally says “blue” but means “red,” let him correct himself. Don’t jump in and tell him he is wrong.
Smile!
A genuine smile will make you more attractive.
A smile makes a guy think of you as a confident, happy, and friendly girl. Your smile makes him comfortable, and he becomes hopeful about spending time with you.
When you smile in the company of your partner, it also triggers a smile from him. That will cause special hormones called endorphins to be released.
Endorphins will make him happy, and he connects that feeling to be with you.
Be Happy With Who You Are
It’s important to be relaxed and confident about who you are.
Confidence is a major factor in a man’s attraction to a woman; if he sees you as confident, he will feel better around you.
Being authentic and honest about who you are will make him see you as someone he can trust. Trust adds to the level of security and comfort he will associate with you.
One caution here is to be sensitive to the difference between confidence and domination. A man admires the former but recoils from the latter.
Remember You are Not His Mother
Relationship partners are not meant to be fixers or parents of their loved ones. You aren’t here to fix his habits, correct his grammar, or pick out his outfits.
Furthermore, don’t focus on the negatives. Let him be himself.
Resist the maternal instinct that would cause you to try to change him.
He will not feel at home with you if you are a continuous fault-finder. If you want a guy to be at ease in your company, find the terrific things about him and say them to him instead.
Understand and support him when he talks about his dreams and goals. Avoid being like a mom when he shares his plans with you.
He is a man, not a boy, and he’ll be more comfortable around you if you treat him that way.
Listen to Him (Don’t Be Distracted)
Don’t be fooled by the tough guy, hero act. There will come a time when a guy will want to talk.
He wants someone he can share all his ups and downs with. When he is ready to pour out, make sure you are listening.
Your whole body language needs to show you are listening: eye contact, open posture, nodding your head, and asking relevant questions, are all indicators that he has your undivided attention.
He will want to stay around you for those top-notch listening skills.
Be Open to His Interests Even if They are New to You
Sharing your common interests, activities, and hobbies makes life more meaningful.
New things to do and having someone to share them with add an element of interest to an otherwise boring and even stressful life. When you show interest in what a guy likes to do, it shows him you care.
It makes for more fun and vibrance when you spend time together.
If you always say no to his fishing trips or sports events, he will eventually shut down and not be as alive around you as he could be. Or, he will start finding excuses not to come around you!
Embrace Physical Touch
When a man touches you while you are both in conversation, it might be a strong signal of his attraction to you.
So when he is in your company, allow yourself to be close to him and be within his reach. His love for you will let him feel the need to be physically close to you.
Similarly, being in love with you will also cause him to want your touch. It’s about giving, but it’s also about receiving. It will raise his comfort level immensely when he can touch you and be touched by you.
But what if you aren’t the touching type? Is there a physical closeness that can be too close?
If it feels like he is crossing over your personal space or boundaries, a gentle mention of that should be enough for him to pull back.
If he loves and respects you, your asking him to pull back a little bit should not spark an argument.
Stay Clean
You don’t have to wear tons of makeup to look beautiful to your significant other. That can be a turn-off for some men all by itself.
But combing your hair, washing your clothes and body regularly, and wearing perfumes or scents that you like help keep someone comfortable with you. It will reflect good hygiene and boost your physical attractiveness.
No one wants to be around someone with body odor, bad breath, or even stinky feet.
Watch Out For His Self-Esteem
No matter how friendly the conversation, some words, and tones will easily bruise a person’s self-esteem, even if they don’t show it.
Here are some things NOT to say to someone:
- Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?
- When will you earn more money?
- You don’t know how to dress
- You embarrassed me
These words can hurt a man even to the point of ending your relationship.
If you want to affirm him, here are some words to say:
- You make me feel safe
- Thanks for all that you do
- You are my blessing
- You have a great sense of humor
- You make me a better person
Be Cool About His Body
One of the first ways I knew I was in was when my ordinarily decent fiance announced he wanted to fart. After 10 years of being married to him, he has never ceased to disappoint.
If a man feels comfortable enough to relax, scratch, belch and otherwise be himself around you, don’t make him feel bad about it. Doing that will likely make him more guarded and formal around you.
The result will be an invisible wall between you and him.
The next time he breaks down his walls to let you into his exclusive (albeit smelly) cave, be thankful he has found you worthy.
Final Thoughts
Spending quality time together makes a man feel understood, loved, valued, and appreciated.
When a man feels loved, he gets a sense of fulfillment and happiness. It is a privilege to know you can play a major part in making that happen for him.
Sources
Study: Smiling makes you more attractive
Mind your language: Is it ever OK to correct someone’s grammar?