Just because men are stereotyped to be non-affectionate doesn’t mean that they don’t want affection or to give affection. Most men want affection from their girlfriends, especially when they’ve been in a relationship with them for a long time.
What kind of affection do they require and how often is entirely dependent on the guy, but almost everyone in the world requires at least some kind of affection or attention from the people around them.
Here’s Why Guys Like Affectionate Girlfriends:
Men want to be pampered and taken care of just as much as women do. They want to be supported and propped up by their partners, engaged with, listened to, and understood on an emotional level. They also want to feel respected and loved.
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What Are The Most Effective Ways to Show Men Love?
Effectively communicating love is an essential skill for any romantic relationship, regardless of gender.
Author, Gary Chapman, revolutionized our understanding of sharing love in his 1992 book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.”
In this book, he draws from his experience as a marriage counselor to identify five unique styles of communicating romantic love.
These five individual love languages are:
- Words of affirmation, such as verbal or written compliments, encouragement, and appreciation,
- Quality Time, especially undivided attention, free of distractions from television or phones,
- Physical touch, such as kissing, hand holding, and cuddling
- Acts of Service, such as making meals and helping with tasks, and
- Gifts – in particular, the gift-giving process.
Chapman’s findings have been further examined in research trials over the years. Time and time again, research has shown that people gravitate towards expressing and receiving love communication through Chapman’s five love languages.
However, research has shown that men and women have some fundamental differences in valuing love languages individually.
All five love languages can effectively communicate love to varying degrees among both sexes. Both men and women appreciate words of affirmation as an effective method of transmitting and receiving love.
However, women favored acts of service and gifts, while men preferred physical affection and quality time.
Men long to feel valued and respected by their romantic partners and even place a great sense of satisfaction when being prized or celebrated for who they are. This doesn’t mean that men don’t appreciate acts of service and gifts as displays of affection.
It merely suggests that a meaningful conversation and cuddle session might elicit more significant feelings of emotional connection in men when compared to receiving a temperature-controlled mug.
How Do Men Like to be Romanced?
As stated above, men desire to be prized and celebrated for who they are.
They value deep conversation with someone who gives them undivided attention. Men long for feeling respected and valued and appreciate partners who support their hobbies and ambitions.
For this reason, when it comes to spending quality time with a man, sitting on a couch and watching Netflix together isn’t enough. Putting your phone away on a date night and giving him your undivided attention is a great place to start.
Show Active Interest:
Beyond this, actively showing interest and engaging in his hobbies is another excellent way to enjoy some quality time together.
Assuming you have shared interests, taking a class or learning a new skill together can also foster closeness and intimacy.
However, it should be overstated that the key to spending quality time is quality. Romance and intimacy will never grow if your romantic moments are interrupted by constant strings of cell phone notifications.
Engage in Physical Intimacy:
Physical touch is another important avenue of romancing men.
Men require sexual and non-sexual physical touch to feel satisfied with their relationship. However, it’s always important to ask for consent before initiating either.
Give Compliments:
It’s not surprising that both men and women love to be told they are loved. Compliments were found to activate the same response in the striatum as receiving monetary rewards.
Words of affirmations, such as proclamations of love, and compliments, aren’t restricted to a verbal sense.
Leaving notes for your significant other, daytime texts, and even social media posts and comments can play a considerable role in affirming your love for your significant other.
Provide Gifts or Favors:
Although men don’t value acts of service and gifts as high as other forms of love languages, they can still be practical tools in your romancing strategy.
The crucial detail to remember with these love languages is that the thought behind the act of service or gift is far more valuable than the service and gift itself.
What Kind Of Affection do Men Like?
Contrary to popular belief, men are highly nuanced, complicated beings. Like women, men have forms of social norms and self-governance.
The key to understanding the types of good touch for your man is open and honest communication. Unlike women, who are more likely to desire romantic acts to take place without asking for them, men don’t feel that discussing a romantic action kills the mood.
When the time comes, simply asking if it’s okay to lean your head on his shoulder can be really helpful.
As stated previously, Chapman’s five love languages are a tested and proven strategy to communicate love and affection with your significant other.
Let’s look at some ways you can implement these love languages in your courtship strategy:
- Tell him you love him
- Compliment his looks or personality
- Send him a loving text
- Write him a love letter
- Take an interest in his hobbies
- Put the cellphones away and discuss his goals, interests, hobbies, or work
- Plan a vacation together
- Go on a staycation
- Take a class on a common interest together, like a crafting class or wine-tasting
- Take up a new hobby together
- Go on casual dates such as a walk around the neighborhood or a picnic in the park
- Cuddle up to a binge-worthy Netflix series together
- Hold his hand or arm when walking together
- Steal kisses when no one is watching
- Whisper in his ear when you’re in public
- Plan a date with all his favorite things
- Cook his favorite meal (or order in if cooking isn’t your thing)
- Help him out with daily tasks
- Get him something he always wanted
- Reverse rolls and get him flowers & chocolates
Do All Guys Like it When Girls Show Affection?
Not every guy is comfortable with physical or emotional affection. Some of them can get embarrassed or feel uncomfortable especially if you’re not very far in the relationship yet.
Some men prefer affection in all forms and definitely want it most of the time. Some only want affection some of the time.
Depending on the guy that you’re with he may have different standards for what he finds acceptable.
Understanding his desires and his needs is a great way to know if you are giving enough affection.
Sources:
What Are The 5 Love Languages? Everything You Need To Know
Men Need Romance in Their Lives Just as Much as Women
Men and Relationships – What Are Men Really like in Romance?