You can’t always help who you fall for. Whether it is an instant attraction or the fabled “love at first sight,” finding someone to share your time with is amazing.
What happens when you dive deeper into the relationship only to learn that the man has serious issues with opening up? Believe it or not, many men are guarded, and it can take a long time to crack through that shell to make a deeper connection.
As hard as it can be to break through those strong emotional walls, it isn’t impossible!
Here is everything you need to know about being in a healthy, long-lasting relationship with a guarded man:
Table of Contents
Here’s How Long it Takes a Guarded Man to Open Up:
There is no exact measurement of time to get a man to be as open with you as you would like. This is because there are many reasons why men are so hesitant to be open.
It can take months or years for a guarded person to warm to you, tell you everything, or even share more. Try to be patient!
While there isn’t an exact timeline for when your guy can start showing his true emotions, you can find plenty of ways to help him find his way.
Trust is the golden key to making anyone open up, especially a guarded man! Like most things worth your attention in life, trust can take time.
The biggest reason is past trauma with a relationship. Once your heart gets broken, you start to harden up, and it can be more difficult to let people in.
Guarded might also be afraid of public perception. Society has put a lot of pressure on men to be stoic and strong, and for some men, that means that they shouldn’t be as open with their emotions as they want to be.
Don’t be disheartened if you find that the one you love and trust can’t quite show you the same affection. There are plenty of ways to crack through that tough exterior.
What Are The Signs That A Guarded Man Is Opening Up To You?
While it can take many months for a guarded guy to feel comfortable to open up, it is pretty easy to spot the signs that he is ready to be completely vulnerable.
Once both of you are on the same about your feelings and intentions, you will find that your relationship will take on a whole new meaning and make you stronger overall.
Something amazing happens when two people in a couple decide to spend time together romantically and want to have a deep friendship with the other person. For a relationship to be sustainable, there must be love, respect, and a strong friendship.
So, what are the signs? Here is what we found out!
He Trusts You
The number one thing you will notice is that his level of trust in you will grow. He will feel more comfortable with you and especially with telling you things!
This can be seen through actions like trusting you more when you go out and trusting you more with stories from his life.
He is More Emotional
A big sign that your man may be starting to open up is that he is freer with his emotions. The good, the bad, and the ugly!
Any time of conversation about how he may be feeling is a great indicator that you are on your way to having a more open relationship.
While at first, it will be easier for him to be openly happy and excited, he may start to show you his sadness, pain, or frustrations later.
Asking Your Advice
Finally, a great sign that a man who tends to have his guard may be letting you in is that he asks your advice on problem-solving.
Guarded men tend to feel like they have to be strong.
So, not only is it a good sign that he is feeling vulnerable to tell you about his problems but asking you for help is a huge step toward a stronger emotional connection within your relationship.
How Can You Make The Process Of Opening Up Easier For Him?
He might not feel comfortable enough yet to share certain aspects of your life with you. I understand that this can be frustrating, especially for women who are open and free with their feelings.
However, there are certain things that you can do to make opening up an easier thing for him to do!
The most important thing is to keep communication open and to be up-front.
Tell him, directly, that he has not only a friend in you but can also trust that you won’t use the things he says against him. The fear of having words thrown at them is one of the main reasons why men don’t open up quickly.
So, along with making them feel safe, let them know clearly that the things they say are between the two of you.
Another way to make it easier for him is to never assume or put your assumptions about his feelings onto him.
This means that when he is talking to you, don’t talk over him or interrupt.
Also, don’t tell him how he is feeling. This is one of the quickest ways to get him to shut down.
Once you start filling in the blanks for him, he will start to get comfortable with the narrative you are putting on him, making him feel like he can’t be his authentic self.
Be Open and Free with Emotions
This is to be open and free with your affection. Men tend to react strongly to physical showcases of emotion instead of verbal affection.
After your man tells you something that opens him to be more vulnerable with you, show him that you appreciate it with little things like holding his hand or giving him an embrace.
While men can seem complicated, it is pretty simple to show them how much they mean to you.
Can You Speed Up the Process?
As women, we have a hard time trusting that a relationship can stand up to the test of time without open and honest communication.
It should bring you some comfort to know that there are plenty of ways to get your guy to open up!
Make Him Feel Comfortable and Safe
We don’t think about a man’s safety when it comes to emotions because of the stigma that men don’t get emotional.
Showing them that it is okay to have complicated feelings and, more importantly, it is okay to show them is a great way for them to trust you with their feelings.
Open up to Him as Often as You Can
Share the moments in your life that bring you joy as well as the ones that bring you sadness.
Over time, he will start to mirror your willingness to share, and that’s when those emotional walls that he built will start to crumble.
Keep Conversations Light
Another way to get him to open up a little quicker is to keep your conversations light and ask him many questions.
The most important part of this is to make sure that you are listening and engaging with the things he says.
Make sure to ask plenty of follow-up questions so he can start getting more comfortable sharing more details about his life. There is a fine line between having these conversations and making him feel like he is on trial.
Don’t go at him guns blazing with a thousand questions thinking that that will make him feel safe or comfortable.
Set Reasonable Expectations
Finally, setting reasonable expectations is the best way to speed up the process of making your guarded partner open up.
By not expecting miracles too quickly, you are not putting extra pressure on your partner and your relationship.
You are doing the opposite if you are too aggressive in your conversations to the point where it can feel like badgering. It shows your man that he can’t trust you with his fragile emotions.
So, take it slow and celebrate the small milestones without expecting things to change overnight.
3 Tips For Relationships With Guarded Men:
A relationship with a guarded man can be a little tricky to navigate.
So, having the right tools and tricks that can help you move the relationship forward and bring your closer is a great way to ensure that you make the relationship as strong as possible.
Here are some amazing ways to handle being in a relationship with a guarded man so you can make the connection the best it can be!
Move At His Pace!
People are constantly setting boundaries in relationships, which can sometimes be hard to pick up on.
One boundary that your guarded guy may set is the pace at which the relationship is moving. While we discussed ways to speed up the opening-up process, you have to be careful not to push them too far or too hard.
This will allow him to be more comfortable, but the more time passes, the more he will settle into the routine that the two of you set forward. You will also find that if you follow his lead, he will have much more trust in you.
He will then be able to share more of his life that he might have been holding back.
Practice Active Listening
There is a big difference between listing to someone and actively listening to someone.
Active listening means that you are not only open to what your partner is saying, but you are also taking it in. Once you hear someone, you are more able to ask the important questions.
A great way to show interest and love is to ask questions to follow up and get more information.
While your partner might be a little hesitant at first, the more you practice active listening, the more your partner will trust that your interest comes from a place of love and not from a place of pushing expectations.
Also, this is another great way to lead by example.
Showing that you are active listening is a great way to teach your partner to show you the same respect. After all, relationships are 50/50, and without both people being engaged in each other, there is no way to move forward.
Learn To Give A Little Space
The last tip I can give you for being in a relationship with a guarded man is to learn when it is time to push and when it is time to back off. Women tend to want resolve and answers quickly.
In comparison, men need much more time to process emotions. So, sometimes it is necessary to give them some space.
Space doesn’t mean you have to take a break in your relationship, but it means that once in a while, it is fine just to leave them alone. After talking about feelings, it is easy to get burnt out.
When someone in the relationship is simply overwhelmed, continuing to push the topic will only make that person frustrated.
Sometimes, when discussing men being guarded, it is easy to put a negative spin on it.
However, I don’t find that guarded men are at all a negative thing. This is because being guarded can be an easy fix, of course, only if he wants it.
Being upfront and honest about your intentions is so important. You have to be on the same page about where you want the relationship to go. If he wants to be with you, he will do almost anything to appease you.
Since relationships are a two-way street, you should also meet that same level of commitment. So, be honest, open, and most importantly, be willing to change.
Change is constant and good, so don’t be afraid of it!