Getting to know the person you are dating is essential for forming a lasting connection.
One way to do this is to ask lots of questions to get to know the other person’s wants and needs. What if he keeps asking you the same question over and over?
While this can be annoying, he is seemingly temperature-checking you for many reasons.
Here are some common reasons why he keeps asking you the same thing:
1. He Is Feeling Insecure
While most men like to put on a front that is strong and secure in their lives and relationships, it isn’t always the case.
Just like women, men don’t always feel strong in the relationship, leading them to “primp you.” Primping is an emotional response to the insecurity that makes someone ask the same question repeatedly.
This is especially common with questions like, “Are you okay?” or “Do you like me?”
These types of questions are designed to make your partner feel better. While it can be annoying to have to answer them repeatedly, it is truly the best way to settle their complicated feelings.
This type of insecurity can also manifest from a place of jealousy. That is why he may be asking the same question in different ways, like “Who are you going to see?” or “Where are you going?”
When it comes from a place of jealously, it is less about wanting to settle the insecurities and more about wanting to trip you up in your answer. While jealously is common with most men, these behaviors can often be borderline toxic.
2. He Doesn’t Have The Best Memory
It’s not uncommon for men to ask the same question multiple times or forget things they’ve been told.
When this happens, he might be trying to process a lot of information simultaneously. If you find yourself in a situation where a man asks you the same question multiple times, try to be patient.
He might need a little extra time to remember everything. In the meantime, you can help him by providing reminders or gently correcting him if he forgets something.
Ultimately, men and women both can be forgetful, so we sometimes have to communicate in different ways.
So don’t get discouraged if a guy isn’t retaining everything you tell him right away. He might need a little extra time and patience to catch up.
3. He Doesn’t Pay Attention
It can be frustrating when your partner doesn’t seem to pay attention to you, but it’s important to be patient.
Everyone has different communication styles, and it’s possible that your partner isn’t used to giving their undivided attention. Instead of getting angry, tell him it is something that bothers you.
Ask him why he thinks he repeats himself so much. Is he paying attention? Is something else on his mind?
By learning more about your partner, you can create a stronger connection and help them try harder to listen and retain information between you.
One thing I do to make sure I have my man’s full attention is to demand eye contact and a reduction of outside distractions. Have him put his phone down or the TV on mute so that he can hear your answer, which will keep him from asking you again.
4. He Doesn’t Fully Trust That You Are Telling The Truth
Asking a question repeatedly can signal that your partner doesn’t think you are being truthful.
They can do this in an attempt to see if your answer changes. Even the slightest difference in your answer can give them pause and lead them to believe that you are not being completely truthful.
How he frames the question can tell if he feels this way. If he pushes it, forcing you to answer several times, it can work against him and push you away.
Jealously and trust are some of the toughest aspects of a relationship, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to satisfy a jealous man.
The best way to keep your cool is to ensure that you are always being truthful and let him know how his badgering is affecting you. Instead of seeing it as an annoyance, try to use it as an opportunity to set boundaries and expectations with each other.
5. He Isn’t Aware That He Is Asking The Same Thing Again
Some men don’t realize that they are saying the same thing over and over again. It may have nothing to do with his attention span, but more about his ability to retain information.
Not everyone can retain information for a long time – especially when they are stressed, busy, or overwhelmed with too much going on. If your boyfriend is a really good listener, but still forgets things, he may just be struggling to keep it all in his head.
For example, you may have told him several times that you don’t like going out to the movies after he kept asking. He would have paid attention to your statement, but that doesn’t mean he filed it away for later.
So he may ask you things like, “are you interested in seeing that new movie that just came out?”
The question is just different enough from “wanna go see a movie?” that he might think it is okay to ask. However, he’s forgetting your dislike for movie theaters.
This is not an insensitivity on his part, but rather a symptom of being distracted or simply forgetting.
While you can be frustrated with his forgetfulness, try to be patient. Remind him that you don’t like movie theaters and come up with a solution to help him never ask again.
For example, you can make it a habit to only ever watch movies on the couch at home. This will cement in his head that you prefer to stay in when you watch a movie, and the information will be better retained.
6. He Likes To Tease You
Men sometimes resort to teasing to gauge a woman’s interest.
He may ask you, again and again, the same thing on a daily or weekly basis because he knows it bothers you. He may also do it just to get your attention – even if it is negative attention.
Teasing can be a playful way to create romantic tension, and it can also be a way to test the waters to see if a woman is interested in pursuing a more serious relationship.
However, not all women enjoy being teased, and it can often be exhausting to keep up with the constant back-and-forth.
To avoid future teasing, try to be direct in your communication. If you don’t like being teased, tell him in a calm and assertive voice.
You can also try changing the subject or walking away when the teasing is too much.
Finally, remember that you always have the right to set your boundaries, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if necessary.
7. There is a More Serious Reason
While it is highly unlikely that he has a medical reason for repeating himself, it is a possibility.
Just remember that you can’t assume it is a medical issue, and that only a professional can diagnose a repetitive mental behavior, injury, or disorder.
Head injuries, mental issues, or even compulsive habits can make someone repeat a behavior without meaning to do it. They can also cause forgetfulness or prevent someone from retaining information.
While it can get draining, it is important to remember that behaviors like this may be completely out of his control.
Another thing to consider outside of severe disorders is that repeating questions may be a symptom of other problems. This is especially true if they are under a great deal of stress.
Stress can cause many problems that can seem more serious than they are. One of these can be not remembering if they asked you something already.
In the case of asking you the same question time and time again, most of the time, it comes down to how the man is feeling.
Whether he is under stress, has jealousy issues, or can’t remember each conversation you had, there is almost always going to be a solution to the problem at hand.
If you find that you can’t stand the constant repeating anymore, the most important thing to do is to open to conversation with him. While it is easy to speculate why he is doing this, you won’t know for sure until he tells you.